Master List of Mom Wisdom (aka Momisms)

Mother's Day is near and I would like share a lists of motherly sayings from Happy Worker site  (re-post from my private page). 

...remember to do as mom says!

predictable mom

- Eat your vegetables, they're good for you.
- I can always tell when you're lying.
- If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (… tongue, eyebrows...) He would have put them there!
- If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.
- If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert.
- If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside.
- When you have kids of your own you'll understand.
- When you have your own house then you can make the rules!
- It's no use crying over spilt milk.
- You won't be happy until you break that, will you?
- Beds are NOT made for jumping on.
- Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food!
- Go play outside! It's a beautiful day!
- Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.
- If you don't learn how to cook, no one is going to want to marry you.
- You're the oldest. You should know better.
- You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?
- Someone is going to end up crying.
- Go to your room and think about what you did!
- The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
- When I was a little girl...

nagging mom

- Clean up after yourself!
- Did you brush your teeth?
- Did you clean your room?
- Did you comb your hair?
- Did you flush?
- Do your homework!
- Is your homework finished?
- Isn't it past your bedtime?
- Ok, but first take out the garbage.
- Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?
- Wipe your feet!
- You made your bed, now lie in it.
- Don't talk with your mouth full!
- Be good.
- You could have called.

lazy mom

- Ask your Father.
- Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO.
- Don't make me come in there!
- Don't make me get up!
- Don't run in the house.
- Enough is enough!
- How many times do I have to tell you?
- I don't care what all the other kids get to do.
- I don't have to explain myself. I said no.
- I'm going to give you until the count of three...
- I'm not going to ask you again.
- No.
- I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"
- You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you - I'm not the maid!
- Who died and left you boss?
- When did your last slave die?
- Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
- Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!
- Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
- No, I don't know where your socks are, its not my day to watch them!
- You can't find it? Well, if you'd put things where they belonged, you wouldn't have this problem.
- Nobody asked you.

confused mom

- Who do you think you are?
- Who do you think you're talking to?
- Do you think I'm made of money?
- Who said life was going to be easy?
- Am I talking to a brick wall?
- All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
- A little "birdy" told me!
- I'm not your cleaning lady!
- I'm not your maid!
- I'm not your waitress!
- No child of MINE would do something like that.
- Stop acting like your father!
- What did I say the FIRST time?
- At work my mind's on the children, at home I think of the office.
- You’re just like your father.
- Are you deaf or something?
- What part of NO don't you understand?

chicken mom

- Be careful!
- Call me when you get there, just so I know you're okay.
- Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call.
- Going to a party? Who's going to be there?
- Going to a party? Will the parents be home?
- I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
- Do not put that in your mouth; you do not know where it has been!
- Put that down! You don't know where it's been!
- You can't start the day on an empty stomach.

selfish mom

-  I don't buy snacks to feed the neighborhood!
- I hope you don't kiss me with that mouth!
- I just want what's best for you.
- If I want your opinion I'll ask for it!
- If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
- I'm not always going to be around to do these things for you.
- Don't stay up too late!
- Do what I say, not what I do.
- I'm not running a taxi service.
- You don't always get what you want. It's a hard lesson, but you might as well learn it now.
- Just wait until we get home.
- Shut the door! I'm not heating the entire neighborhood!
- So it's raining? You're not sugar -- you won't melt.
- So what if Sally's mom let her do it? If Sally's mom let her jump off the Empire State Building, would you want me to let you do it too?
- Why? Because I SAID so, that's why!
- You must think rules are made to be broken.
- I don't care who started it, I said stop!
- Money does NOT grow on trees.
- This hurts me more than it hurts you.

exaggerator mom

- Eat everything on your plate. There are starving children all over the world who would be glad to trade places with you.
- How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
- Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.
- If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times.
- Life isn't fair.
- Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!
- There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.
- There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
- This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.
- Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?
- Well, people in Hell want ice water too!
- When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world!
- When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school.
- You kids are trying to drive me crazy!
- You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders!
- A little soap and water never killed anybody.
- Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
- Close the door! You don't live in a barn.
- You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear.
- Do you live to annoy me?
- If wishes were horses...
- Well, I haven't figured out how to cook "cold" yet.

picky mom

-  I said CLOSE the door, I did not say SLAM it.
- I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
- Don't pick your nose in public.
- Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
- Don't use that tone with me!
- Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!
- Don't you have anything better to do?
- Are you going out dressed like that?
- Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
- I don't know is NOT an answer.
- If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
- Look at me when I'm talking to you.
- Now, come back downstairs and go back up WITHOUT stomping your feet!
- Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it!
- Say please.
- Turn that racket down!
- Watch your mouth!
- What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!
- You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
- You can go out to play...after you pick up your room.
- You can go out to play...after you've done your homework.
- You just ate an hour ago!
- I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
- Pick up your feet.

suspicious mom

- How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?
- Do you think this is a hotel? You can't just come here only to sleep.
- I can't believe you can sleep in this filth!
- I can't believe you did that!
- If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?
- It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else.
- Little pitchers have big ears.
- What, are you kidding?
- When will you be back?
- Where do YOU think you're going?
- Who are you going with? Do I know them?
- Who taught you THAT? You didn't learn that in this house!
- You can't judge a book by its cover.
- You have an answer for everything, don't you?
- Are you lying to me?

threatening mom

- Do not make that face or it will freeze in that position.
- Don't eat that, you'll get worms!
- Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
- Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
- Don't pick that scab, it'll get infected.
- Be careful or you will put your eye out.
- I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out!
- If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
- If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.
- If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.
- Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.
- If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert.
- If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off.
- If you don't stop crying, I'm going to give you something to cry about!
- If you’re bored, I can always find something for you to do.
- Never try on anyone else's glasses or you'll go blind.
- One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
- Only if you eat all your vegetables
- Over my dead body!
- Running away? Don't let the door hit you in the rear.
- Running away? I'll help you pack.
- Running away? Is that a threat or a promise?
- Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap.
- Shut your mouth and eat your supper.
- You are going to get it when you get home!
- You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
- Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
- As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
- I'm doing this for your own good.
- Some day you will thank me for this. SMACK!!
- You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it!
- You are getting on my last nerve.
- I'm going to skin you alive!
- I've had it up to here with you.
- Answer me when I ask you a question!
- Leave your sister (brother) alone! 

lovely mom

-  You will ALWAYS be my baby.
- I will always love you - no matter what.
- Nobody will ever love you like your mother. 

Advance Happy Mother's Day to all !!! :-)